How You Can Support Your Partner with A New Baby
The journey to and during parenthood can be a magical and challenging time for both parents. For mothers especially, the postpartum period brings about a whirlwind of physical and emotional changes, sleepless nights, and potential apprehension about how this new chapter in your relationship can disrupt your current lifestyle. No matter how your child came into this world—whether through pregnancy, surrogacy, or adoption—the support of a partner can make all the difference.
How You Can Help
Birthing and non-birthing mothers go through many physical and emotional challenges before, during, and after giving birth. As a partner, your job is to support your partner as much as possible to relieve some of this undue stress and exhaustion, and there are many things you can do to help.
Be Supportive
- If you don’t already, help around the house: cook breakfast and dinner, clean the kitchen, vacuum and mop, wipe down surfaces, wash clothes, make the bed, do groceries, and anything else related to your home.
- If you have other children and/or pets, take care of them while your partner puts her attention on the new baby. This could be getting the kids ready for school in the morning, taking the dogs for walks, or bathing them.
- Mothers are often the sole parent to feed the baby, so offer to do some nighttime feeds to give your partner some additional sleep. Or, set a feeding schedule for the two of you to ensure you’re both looking after your new baby.
- Attend any appointments before and after the birth. Having a baby is a special journey for both of you, and no one wants to be alone during this process. By attending appointments, you show your partner that you’re always there for her and the baby.
- Looking after a baby is tiresome for both parents. Accept outside help from friends and family occasionally to give you and your partner some time to relax.
- Spoil your partner. This can be something as simple as bringing flowers home or running her a bath, or booking her in for a spa day while you take care of bub.
Communicate
Effective communication is important in any relationship, and that becomes more apparent when a baby arrives.
- Before the birth, make sure to have a discussion with your partner about certain responsibilities you both will be taking on. This could include things like delegating certain chores, taking turns with baby feeding and changing, and being aware of each other’s emotions.
- Always be open about how you are feeling during these changes, and be sure to listen to your partner’s feelings too. Bottling up your emotions may lead to them being said in the wrong way during a disagreement.
- Remember that you and your partner are both physically and emotionally exhausted from lack of sleep and raising a baby. Acknowledge each other’s feelings and make sure not to throw blame at each other.
- Sometimes your partner just needs a supportive ear—be a good listener and don’t feel like you always need to solve her problems with advice. Consider asking her how you can help, and remind her that you’re always there for her and the baby.
- Be sure to acknowledge your partner’s achievements no matter how big or small they are. Reassure her that she’s doing a great job.
Take Care of Yourself
A lot of partners forget that they need looking after too. You may find it difficult to prioritise your own wellbeing when raising a child and being a supportive partner, but if you don’t take care of yourself, you will continue to drain yourself both physically and emotionally, leading to exhaustion and burnout.
You may not have time to go to the gym, but you can still exercise. Put the baby in a stroller and go for a walk around the block. The fresh air and exercise are great for both you and bub. Mum can tag along, or she can catch up on some much-needed rest. Try to incorporate fruit and vegetables into your diet—even if you have a takeaway night, you can still have some vegetables for lunch earlier in the day or fruit for snacks.
If you start to feel extra tired at work, you may need to talk to your boss about changing your hours to suit your new lifestyle.
Consider having a family member take care of your baby while you and your partner spend some well-earned quality time together. Go out on a dinner date, or if you both are too tired, order some takeaway and watch a movie. Take care of your relationship.
Talk with friends and/or family who have previously been or are currently in your shoes. They could have some insight that you may not have considered. There are also many support groups for partners of mothers. Search on Google or contact your local council for more information.
The journey to and during parenthood is undoubtedly a team effort, and partners play a pivotal role in supporting mothers during the postpartum period. By communicating effectively, providing emotional and physical support, and taking care of yourself, you can help your partner navigate the joys and challenges of new parenthood with confidence and resilience.